Book II - The Wildest Stories Ever Told I Next

Part XVI - The Hokey Miracles Attributed to J.C.

Hi diddle diddle!  The Cat and the Fiddle  The Cow jumped over the Moon  The Little Dog laughed to see such sport  And the Dish ran away with the Spoon  - Mother Goose

When we moved from Mexico to the cold plains of Saskatchewan in the mid-winter of 1925-26, I was not quite eight years old. One of the  dismal memories of that period was the agony of starting to school and learning the English language. The toughest part of this ordeal was  getting to the school. Coming from the warm, tropical climate of Mexico to the beastly cold of Saskatchewan in mid-winter was not only a  cultural shock but also an environmental shock. I remember the long cold rides, over miles of snow-covered open fields, packed in a box sled  with a passel of other kids as we set off for school. As I remember, I nearly froze to death in the process, and I had frostbites and chilblains in  my toes and heels. Learning to speak English, however, was no problem, and I still remember the Mother Goose jingles as set forth in the  Canadian First Grade Reader, of which the above verse is one of many. Jack and Jill went up the hill. Little Miss Muffett sat on a Tuffet, and so  on and on. All these jingles were graphically illustrated with interesting pictures in color, and after all these years they still stick in my mind. I  can still remember the pictures of the cow jumping over the moon, the cat playing the fiddle, the dish running away with the spoon and the  picture of the dog laughing at it all. He had good reason to laugh. It was all a lot of nonsense, of course.

However, at that age. It was all very interesting, and what's more, I was gullible enough to believe that these things really happened. I believed  that Mother Goose was a real person, and that the cow really did jump over the moon. Why shouldn't I? It said so in the book, and showed a  nice picture of the cow jumping over the moon. After all, I was not quite eight years old.

Fortunately, before another year had passed, I realized that these were merely jingles, fairy tales that didn't really happen, and that Santa  Claus, too, was a concocted lie. By the time I was seventeen I was enrolled in the University of Saskatchewan, and among other subjects I  studied Ancient History. As I did so, I began to realize that there were a lot of other Fairy Tales imbedded in our culture other than Mother  Goose. As I studied the religions of the various civilizations, the Egyptian, the Greek, the Roman, I came to an important conclusion, namely  that the religious teachings with which I had been indoctrinated were as mythical as were the Greek and Roman gods of Zeus, Jupiter and all  the rest of that cabal. At seventeen, I had matured enough to realize the difference between fact and fiction, and was less gullible than the  millions of people three times my age.

Unfortunately or otherwise, there are not only millions, but billions of people who are adult in years, but their minds are still as irrational and  gullible as a little child's. And that is just the way the preachers would like to keep their flock of sheep. "Unless ye become as little children ye  cannot enter into the kingdom of heaven", saith the Lord. Although when they become adults these sheep may, too, have studied Ancient  History, geology, geography, math and science, there is still a major section of their cranial grey matter that insists on clinging to silly fairy tales  that their common sense tells them are ridiculous. They call it "religion" and proudly describe it as their "faith". Among this heterogeneous  group of gullibles are the Christians, who believe in a mythical Christ of which there is no more historical evidence than there is of Mother  Goose, who purportedly performed a myriad of miracles as hokey as any of the Mother Goose stories, such as the cow Jumping over the  moon. They believe them because they are in print and their bible says so, and that is reason enough, they claim.

Let us examine some of these wild stories that are simply accepted as miracles, and neatly covered by an all-explanatory blanket passage  "With God all things are possible". So with this blanket in hand, let us now sail into orbit.

One of the first miracles that Jesus purportedly pulled off was to be born of a virgin mother, a fairly neat trick in itself. It made his mother, the  Virgin Mary, whether real or mythical, undoubtedly the most touted woman in history. However, even this story is somewhat fudged. Depending on which chapter of the bible you choose to read. It will tell different versions of the same episode. In one place it will tell you that the Holy  Ghost, the Super Spook himself, just out of the clear blue sky, descended upon Mary and impregnated her. Never mind that she was already  married to Joseph. Ordinarily, the bible would call this kind of thing adultery with a married woman, but then the Super Spook could do no wrong, now could he? Even when he commits mass murder and drowns all the people in the world, people he himself supposedly created, he  could do no wrong. After all, they were only a bunch of lousy sinners, and therefore and ipso facto, the bastards deserved to be drowned, right?  However, if he fornicated with a little Jewess called Mary, how does this still leave her a virgin, and is it still really a virgin birth? Hardly. The  Jewish scribblers glorify this kind of fornication and adultery with a fancy name and call it the Immaculate Conception. Tricky, tricky.

Then, in another place in the bible it says that Joseph, after he had married Mary, found to his surprise that someone had gotten to her first,  and that she was already pregnant, and that he secretly thought of abandoning her. In another chapter the New Testament will tell you that  yes, indeed, Joseph was the father of Jesus, and proudly traces his lineage to the seed of David, and wow! what an honor that is, to be a  descendant of this murderous, whore-mongering Jew who fornicated with Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah. The fact that Uriah was a faithful  soldier in David's army doesn't seem to bother this Jewish paragon of virtue too much. In fact, he had Uriah murdered under cover of battle, so  as to get him out of the way, and he, David, could have clear sailing and make time with his widow.

So there you have the different versions of the story of the Virgin Mary, the Virgin Birth and the whole pot of crock. Take your choice, if you are  gullible enough to believe any of it.

We now move on to other tall stories, these so-called "miracles" at which Christ is supposed to have been such an expert. Most of these are as  wild and silly as the Mother Goose rhymes, but not nearly as innocuous, since so many of them make a big to do about spirits, spooks, devils  and raising people from the dead, and all that there kind of hocus-pocus. Many of them are retold in different versions that evidently relate to  the same incident but flagrantly contradict each other in details. Let us start with the story of the "unclean spirits" and the herd of swine, as an example.

in Mark 5:1, 2 and 13 it says: "And they came over unto the other side of the sea, in the country of he Gadorenes. And when he (Jesus) was  come out of the ship, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit.. .And the unclean spirits went out, and entered  the swine; and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the sea (they were about two thousand) and were choked in the sea." Poor swine.  What had they done to deserve such nasty treatment? Also what waste! 2000 porkers down the drain.

in what is obviously the same story, Matthew 8:28 and 32 tell it somewhat differently: "And when he was come to the other side into the country  of the Gergesenes, there met him two possessed with devils, coming out of the tombs, exceeding fierce. ..And he said unto them. Go. And  when they (the devils) were come out, they went into the herd of swine: and behold, the whole herd of swine ran violently down a steep place  into the sea, and perished in the waters."

So we see that the same purported story has serious discrepancies, depending on who is telling it. This becomes rather ridiculous, especially  when the preachers spreading this kind of claptrap claim that everything in the "Holy Scriptures" is the word of God, that he guided the little  Jewish hands that wrote it, and was damn careful that it was meticulously accurate when he got through editing it. So the spook peddlers claim.  But then why is there only one man in the one story and two in the other version? And why is the locale in the first story set in Gadarenes, and  the next in Gergesenes? The obvious answer, of course. Is that the whole book is a random and disjointed collection of myths and lies,  concocted by a passle of Jewish scribblers, whose identity is now, and forever shall be, unknown. Furthermore, whoever the authors were,  they were too stupid to keep their stories consistent, relying instead on the gullibility of their readers to swallow all this garbage wholesale as is.

if you care to read a third garbled version of the same story, turn to Luke 8:27. But we have wasted too much time on this miraculous spooks  and swine story already, so let us move on and see what other tricky hocus-pocus the Jewish scribblers have managed to dream up for their  wandering and foot-loose magician and what else J.C. had up his sleeve in the way of "miracles".

The scribblers claimed he could make blind men see, and here again they get their stories garbled, depending on whose version you read. In  Mark 10:46, 52 it says: "And he (Jesus) went out of Jericho with his disciples and a great number of people, blind Bartimaeus, the son of  Timaeus, sat by the roadside begging. And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out, and say, Jesus thou son of  David have mercy on me."

Matthew 20:29, 30 tells it differently. There are two men sitting there and begging, no mention of Bartimaeus. Anyway, no big problem. Our  magic healer just says the word and their sight is as good as new. One person, two people, who cares? it makes a good story.

If we want to pursue these kind of shenanigans further there is a whole list of goodies on the menu. Of course, there is no evidence they ever  happened, nor is there any evidence that an itinerant magician resembling Jesus Christ wandered the countryside at that time, but only a  compilation of wild stories of unknown origin and garbled as hell. He fed a multitude of five thousand with a few loaves of bread and a couple of  stinking raw fish. He turned water into wine. (Such a deal! If today's Yids could duplicate this kind of trick, they could make millions) He walked  on water. (During Lyndon Johnson's regime a joke was being circulated that Lyndon, too, was learning to walk on water, but it too had no basis  in fact.) He raised people from the dead. He consorted with the devil at the top of a mountain, and he flew through the air with the greatest of  ease. Yak! Yak! Yak!

Is any of this garbage true? Not likely. They have as much evidence (or as little) as the Mother Goose rhymes such as the cow jumped over the  moon. If you can cripple your adult mind to be as gullible as a five year old, you can manage somehow to insult your intelligence and believe all  this hocus-pocus. However, if you want to play these kind of silly games, why not stick with Mother Goose? Nobody really knows who  concocted the Jewish bible nor who wrote the Mother Goose stories, but there are two cardinal virtues the Mother Goose stories have that are  not inherent in either the Old Testament nor the New. One is the Mother Goose stories don't pretend to be anything more than just plain  childish fun and games. The other is, they don't contradict their own stories. If they say that the cow Jumped over the moon in one story, they  do not screw it up by saying it was a horse or a goat that did the caper in another version.

We Creators would rather be promoting a cause that may be unpopular at this time but will win in the end, than one that may be popular now  but lose in the end.

The Dark Ages of European civilization were at their worst when Jewish Christianity was at its peak.

Spooks in the Sky: Unseen, unheard, unfelt, unsmelt, unknown, unreal.

Unless the White Race takes charge of its own destiny, none of the pressing problems of the world will ever be solved.

Political Parties come and go. Religions endure.

Book II - The Wildest Stories Ever Told

Part XVI - The Hokey Miracles Attributed to J.C.

Chapter 31